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Hey everyone.

It's been a while, hasn't it? Well, I'm not really back. I don't have much in the way of new material. Instead, I'm going to be beefing up my gallery with some older stuff that I think should be up. I'm sorry for spamming your friendspage.

Also, please check out my scraps. Anything unfinished ends up there, so that's most of my favourite stuff :P

Take care,
H
So many changes going on in my life these past few months. I've moved. I'm now living with my best friends in a smaller, more cozy appartment further west in town. We both love it. I'm looking to change my job, I'm trying to change my academic standing and I'm trying to change the way I deal with people.

I've taken a long break from DevArt. I find it tiresome to go through all the deviations and the journals. I miss seeing everything that all of the artists I love have created, but I need to weed out a few of the distractions in my life. I still check here from time to time. As the case may be, I have no comments or msgs, so I haven't really missed much. Take care everyone. Feel free to email me if you want to get in touch. I'm sure I'll be back eventually.
I gotta put some things in the ground
even with this season coming around
It's green's last gasp
and leaves brown
and Autumn days are winding down

I gotta get it out of my head
and make good on some things I've said
in case you overheard my plans
and find me out as the talker that I am

But holidays are made for reading
and remembering the things that are worth repeating
in the clatter of the afternoon
in the sunlight that is left
we can make a list of things to forget

Maybe the drive was a little too long
Can we pull over to the shoulder so I can write this song?
The carpet they laid out is a grey shade of red
road work ahead
that's what we said

But holidays are made for reading
and remembering things that are worth repeating
in the clatter of the afternoon
in the sunlight that is left
we can make a list of things
to forget the false starts
and the loose strings
the feelings of regret that ring
on a day you haven't done much of anything

-Sarah Harmer. Things to Forget

How do you tell when you honestly miss something and want i back, rather than dealing with simple loneliness and nostaglia? I'm afraid of confusing things, of returning to the past and dwelling there. I love and miss things that have passed, I could return to them, despite all the faults I've already seen there.

Anyway, back to art. I haven't started my self-portrait series yet. I've been engulfed in the world of craftiness. I have been sewing, knitting and creating with different mediums than I'm used to.  There is so much I want to do, and yet I feel like I don't have the time or the space to do them (I'm feeling lost in the new appartment, we're moving again soon. I never really got settled). There's something to losing yourself in the clicking of bamboo needles while soft lovely yarn tangles itself into a lovely piece of fabric, a whole other thing. It's magic.

I'm hibernating this winter. Hiding away from everyone. You'd think, during this time of self-imposed isolation, I'd produce some actual pieces of art...to be honest, I haven't drawn since I did my commission for David. Oh well. Enough instrospection for now.

Happy New Year everyone :)

My ridiculous knitting page. yes, it's pink.
To get myself out of this november funk, I think I want to start a new series...something more daring than I've done before. Nudes. Of myself. I'm going to try to paint them.  I need to challenge myself, allow myself to grow. I'm actually kind of nervous. You may never see what comes of this adventure, depending on what I think of the final results. Exhilirating to be trying something so new.

In other news, I recieved my journal from Helena. It was breathtaking. I'd like to do something for her, but its been hard. I'm so troubled with my art and writing lately, I feel like I have nothing worthy to offer.
_________________________________________________

My other journal.
Live Journal
My Webpage
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARARI!!
Do you ever do things that you know you shouldn't, purely for the selfish reason of following your heart? *sigh* This has been a very very tough month. I shouldn't be doing this to him, but I can't help but let him know how I feel. I know it'll only make things worse.

Anyway, back to art. I really really REALLY need to get drawing again. Unfortunately, I couldn't even tell you where my sketch book is at the moment. I moved out on Oct 1st, and am still living with boxes everywhere (with a roomate or two around, even some cats). I have a few commissions on the back burner and some things I want to do for myself. I really just need to sit down and do them. A wonderful distraction these days? Knitting. It's evil. It took over!

Anyway, this was a nonesense post. Tah.
Hey guys, it's that time of year again. I'll be walking in the "Run for the Cure" marathon fundraiser for Breast Cancer on October 3rd. I'll be walking for my mom and all those who have suffered as a result of this cancer.

If you would like to help me out and make a donation, go here.
If you want to walk with me and my friends (or run, while we toddle behind), join! Our group is called College of Humanities.

I highly recommend it. I'm not very athletic at all, so don't let that detour you. It's a beautiful walk. Join us :D
It's been a crazy week. Friday, my dog (who has been a part of my family for 13 years), passed away. Rather, we had her put down as she had a large cancer spreading from her stomach. I've been extremely upset since. I've calmed down considerably since, but I'm still very sad about the whole ordeal.

Today I had a job interview with a security company that went extremely well. I start tomorrow. It's a great job that is pretty much perfect for me. My boss is a wonderful lady as well. I look forward to starting.

As a result of this news, I have more to announce. I move out on October 1st. I'm moving in with my best friends into a 2 bedroom apartment. I'm really excited, though also scared. Alot of my time and energy is going into this move, so I apologize for my lack of posting...not that many of you really watch me too closely ^_^ I have a good about the next few months. I start my third year of University on the 9th of September.

Anyway, I'm off for now. Take care.
I so desperately want to create a full piece soon. I keep looking through galleries in awe at all of the incredibly detailed and lovely backgrounds people have. I wish I had that kind of grasp of space. As it is, my main figures need work, I can't even imagine putting a medicore figure into a full space. I really need more work.

Meanwhil, I haven't been able to pick up a pencil is over a week. I've had my essay to write and now my lectures to finish before my exam...tomorrow. I really need to get over my procrastination and become more studious. I need to get my scholarship back and I need to keep my GPA up so that I can get into Teacher's College.

I have so many ideas floating around in my head. I really wish I had the skill to capture their likeness into art. Oh well, practice improves everything, right? Right. Meanwhile, I've been knitting like a fiend. It's the one thing I can do while watching my lectures that doesn't distract me from the prof. (Of course, I have my lectures on tape, I watch them at home. I don't bring my knitting into a classroom :P). Hopefully, I'll have my leg warmers done soon. Then, on to the matching skirt I want to sew. After that, a pair for Lis. Woo!

Another thought that has been tormenting me... I really wish I could get into photography, at least slightly. I envy my sister. My father has supplied her with camera and film and she is currently at a camp, learning how to use all of it. I just don't have the time, the money or the parental support for that kind of endeavor. Oh well, I must put my efforts into moving out, not art classes that I'll probably just take for granted anyway.

Well, I must get back to my lectures. I have 6h45 left. I can't wait until tomorrow evening when I can actually start a summer vacation.
Back in '98 I started a manga with my then best friend, Brytani. It died off fairly quickly as she and I drifted apart. A couple months ago, my now best friend Lis offered to help me ressurrect the project. It hasn't gone far at all yet, it'll be a year at least before we have a comic out. We're just playing right now... but, for those who are interested, you can check us out here.

We're no where near the calibre of some of my fave artists here (such as Ross, MincedNiku, Bri, Elf-Shojo, Neovermin, Tomuyu, and Tongari), but we try. Oh and we have fun. So there ^_^
My, I get ever so envious staring at the works of people such as Intensely and Kittyn, wishing I knew something about photography. Meanwhile, I'm trying to work on my drawing abilities. I'm no where as good as I had hoped I'd be by this age. I always thought that people had a gift...some people could craft with words, with a camera, with a paintbrush, with a pencil, with acting, whatever... What do I have?
Forgot to mention. I'm 21 now. Woo. I have to change my ID and stuff. Poo. -__- I don't really have the time for it, as my summer class, Brit Lit, is keeping me very very occupied. In fact, I have an exam tomorrow.
Should be interesting to see what being single for the first time in 3 years will do to my art... my poor heart hurts. So few people know that Pat and I are no longer together, I might as well make it clear. Do I ever neglect poor DA.. *huggles it*  Perhaps now that will change? I do well to hide in my art.
Blarg. I'm not too fond of my latest piece, I Call Her Blue. Proportions not right, face not right, nothing is right. I don't like anything but the walls >_< For a less fuzzy shot, go here.

In other news, traumatic experiences and social drama leads to a more creative Heathi. I guess I need to let my pain, annoyance, frustrations and stress out some how...as I can't really take it out on anyone, this is as good as it gets.

You see, the only grandmother I have ever known passed away. I am stuck in this place where I cannot grieve, for it was a release from her pain. Also, I cannot shed any tears, as I have locked them all away after hearing more terrible news relating to my father. I don't know how to cope.

For certain is death for the born
And certain is birth for the dead;
Therefore over the inevitable
Thou shouldst not grieve.
Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 2
Fav. Colours:Earthy colours, rich greens, reds, ambers, blues.
Fav. Meal: Mmmm, too many to name. Probably broccoli and cauliflower casserol, cheesecake/lemon meringue dessert.
Fav. Dessert: Lemon Meringue or pumpkin pie,
Fav. Cuisine: Lebanese, Japanese, Italian, Chinese, Thai, etc...
Fav. Country: I haven't been enough places to answer this question fairly.
Fav. Language: Mmmm, from what I've learned so far, I really like the sound of Russian, though Japanese is the most fun to learn. There are MANY others I want to learn though.
Fav. Word: Imbroglio
Fav. Wine: Red. I'm not much of a connoisseur
Fav. Beer: Guiness.
Fav. Mixed Drink: Mmm, Red Lion.
Fav. Drug: *shakes head* Passion.
Fav. Magazines: For pure fluff, Cosmo.
Fav. Directors: Jean-Pierre Jeunet, again, I'm not much of a connoisseur.
Fav. Actors: Ewan McGregor, Johnny Depp, Tom Cruise.
Fav. Actresses: Angelina Jolie, Monica Bellucci, Charlize Theron, Cate Blanchett
Fav. TV Shows: I don't watch much TV. When I do, Will & Grace, The Simpsons, The Family Guy, While You Were Out, Trading Spaces, Buffy and Angel.
Fav. Poem: I haven't read enough poetry to say confidantly.
Fav. Composers: Mozart, Strauss.
Fav. Material: Silk, convas, leather, suede. Anything soft to the touch.
Fav. Flower: Orchids, cherry blossoms, Deep red roses.
Fav. Medium of Art: Paintings, Photography, sketches, music, writing.
Fav. Singer: Tori Amos, David Usher, Sarah McLachlan, Martina Sorbara.
Fav. Band: Moist, A Perfect Circle, Goo Goo Dolls, Nine Inch Nails.
Fav. Thing To Do Besides Fucking (Pardon, Making Love): Play around online, read, draw, watch movies
Fav. Characteristics/Attributes: Intelligence, humour, creativity, mystery, lips, eyes, hair, hands.
Pet Peeves: Obnoxiously loud people, bigots, various insects, sleeping barefoot.
Confession: I fear being alone to the point that I am willing to do anything to hold on to the people I care about. Also, I lie far too often.
Things I most want to do, but can't afford to get into: Learn to play an instrument, improve my artistic ability, travel like mad.
Thing I Haven't Done Yet But Want To Do Most: Nail down my beliefs, be happy.
Thing I Will Never Do (Even With Gun To My Head): mortally wounding someone I love.
Fears: Insects, being raped/attacked.
Mon Raison D'Etre: To learn.
100 Things about me:
INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Copy this whole list into your journal.
2. Bold the things that are true about you.
3. Whatever you don't bold are false


01. When I was younger I made some bad decisions
02. I don't watch much TV these days
03. I love psychadelic mushrooms
04. I love sleeping
05. I have loads of books
06. I once slept in a toilet
07. I love playing video games
08. I like marijuana
09. I watch porn movies
10. I watch them with my father
11. I like sharks
12. I love spiders, I think they're adorable, especially the ones with bright colours on their backs
13. I was born without hair and I still have no hair
14. I like G. Bush
15. People are cool.
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year
17. I have a lot to learn
19. I carry my knife everywhere with myself
20. I'm really really smart
21. I've never broken someone's bones
22. I have a secret
23. I hate snow
24. I drink only milk
25. I drink too much water
26. I hate microsoft
27. I love Chinese food
28. I would hate to be famous
29. I am not a morning person
30. I wear glasses
31. I don't need glasses, except sunglasses
32. I have potential
33. I'm pure Japanese
34. My legs are two different sizes
35. I have a twin
36. I'm wearing a padded bra
37. I can ramble on about absolutely nothing
38. I'm left-handed
39. I hate llamas, but I'm one of them
40. I don't like horror movies
41. I suck at climbing, but I love it anyway
42. People hate me usually. eh, probly
43. I love pop music
44. I hardly ever go to bed before midnight
45. I hate parking fines
46. I know national anthem of my country by heart
47. I know more than two languages not good at them but...
48. I spend too much time on the computer
49. I often want to throw out the computer in a window (IN a window?)
50. I live on a ground floor ... sort of...
51. I don't like chocolate
52. I'd like to be more original
53. I've lied
54. Cocks are my favorite birds
55. I want to conquer the world
56. I wonder what happens when you die
57. I've read all books about Harry Potter
58. Eat your dog!
59. I love to exercise. only if I get time
60. I hate chemistry with a passion
61. I love to write
62. I like changes
63. I hate going to class
64. I am afraid to die
65. I hate dish washing
66. My hair is long, brown, and incredibly curly
67. My nails are nine inch long
68. My favorite color is black
69. I like to sleep on the floor
70. I am hopeless at cooking
71. I sucked my thumb when I was little.
72. I should be doing somehting else rather than writing this
73. I am online a lot, but not in MSN
74. I hate government
75. I don't have a girlfriend/boyfriend
76. I'm too nice for my own good.
77. I love to read, I read as much as I can.
78. I don't trust newspapers
79. I like debating
80. I live in a vagon
81. I clean my room once a month
82. I'm scared of american fast food
83. I have a third eye
84. I love Mozambique (sure why not)
85. I don't trust any religion.
86. I used to play with barbies
87. I wanted to be a super hero when I was little.
88. I like listening to wind chimes sometimes... others I want to kill them
89. I'm very disorganized
90. My hair is long and straight
91. I earn a lot
92. I don't like spicy food
93. I keep a diary
94. I can't do cartwheels
95. I am very lazy sometimes.....
96. I'm sarcastic
97. I think my hair is annoying
98. I'm very sensitive
99. I love being "ab-normal"
100. My left eye is violet and my right eye is a light blue.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!

Enjoy your family, pumpkin pie, presents and friends. I hope it's a great one ^_^
I don't know what caused it, whether it was the support of friends, that I started watching anime and reading mangas again, or that I'm playing WoD way more often...but I've started drawing again. Nothing but terrible rough sketches, but it's good. I am absolute crap these days...but I guess that will happen when one does not practice.

Anyway, expect some really poopy sketches to show up here and there. Tis practice for me, so it's good, despite the absolute crappiness of the works themselves.

Music that has inspired me lately:
-A Perfect Circle
-David Usher
-Tori Amos
-Sarah McLachlan
-The Underworld soundtrack
-Goo Goo Dolls
Nothing like a four day weekend to get a girl inspired. Really, I should have been doing readings and writing essays. Bah. It's taken me till today, Monday, to even open one of my books. Sure, I'm behind. But oh well. I spent a lovely time with my family yesterday, watched some great movies and read some great things.

Every Sunday, my family gathers at my house. I have three older siblings, all of whom are married with children. I also have one younger sibling that lives with me. When the family gathers, there are about 16 people in one place. Woo. While every Sunday doesn't require everybody's presence, usually about 8 or 9 people will be around. Tis nice. We all get along really well and I adore spending time with my older brothers and sister.

Meanwhile, I got to see the second Matrix movie again. Always fun. I really enjoyed the cinematography. Not to mention the fun trench coats and neat fight scenes. ^_^Oh, and Monica Belluci is in it :D Also saw Kill Bill, which was lots of fun in those 70s Martial Arts movies kinds of ways. For the first time, I saw Thelma and Louise. Very interesting movie, thought not quite what I was expecting.

All of this really adds up to me not having done nearly enough homework. Not good. I really need to be buckling down. Oh well. On an up note, I seem to have been relieved of my artist's block, at least for now. Hopefully I'll be posting more stuff more often now :D I'm currently working on a painting of Kittyn. Hee. Tis fun. Should be interesting. Hopefully it will all work out :D

Oh, joined:
Do I Look Like A Slut
Tomorrow I have a test in Japanese. Thursday I have a midterm oral exam in Japanese. I have 4 essays. I have started studying or researching? No. Have I at least kept up with other readings? Riiiight. I wish. Meantime, I'm working on my webpage because it's mindnumbing work and it keeps me busy, while not being actually productive. I am so selfdestructive. Pardon me while I go dwell on the past.